Don't you just love those who have absolutely no ancestral connection to Civil War soldiers patronizing those who do by telling us how we should remember and commemorate their bravery and sacrifice?
My response: Go away.
Addendum: This effort to "help us with our memory" also often comes from those who have made no effort to hide their anti-*Confederate bias. Quite frankly, I'm not interested in your advice on how I should, or should not, remember and commemorate my ancestors' service.
*While I was thinking particularly of my Confederate ancestors when I posted this, the same could apply to those with Union ancestors.