20 December 2014

Honorable & Historic Military Statue Replaced By Flower Bud or, Everything Is Beautiful

Update: Kevin Levin correctly  points out that I failed to mention that the United Daughters of the Confederacy was involved in moving the Confederate statue in Reidsville, NC. Duly noted. I confess the oversight, though it was unintentional. Though it does need to be pointed out that approving the statue being placed in a cemetery does not necessarily mean the UDC in Reidsville approves of the Flowerbud-Squirrel-Bird-Nest-LED-Light thingy. But, if they do, then Squirrel Nut Zippers all around - on me! (Limit one per person for all the "officials" who gave their approval of the Flowerbud-Squirrel-Bird-Nest-LED-Light thingy.)

End of update.

Oh my, you just can't make this stuff up. The tree-huggin', awareness-is-a-buzz-word, flower-power, politically correct crowd have won another glorious victory. Where once stood a historic, solemn statue of a Confederate soldier will now stand:
The structure’s base is in the shape of a star. Out of the star comes a stainless steel shaft with what looks like a flower bud on the top.
Gallucci said the bud and the base will have LED lights. The city may choose to change the colors depending on holidays, seasons or events like breast cancer awareness month.
“This will have little maintenance involved,” Gallucci said. “Just birds buildings [sic] nests; squirrels doing things.”
"Just birds building nests" and "squirrels doing things" and "LED lights". Uh-huh. Okey-dokey. Sounds to me like the bird-brains have something squirrely cooked up. Just wait until one of the squirrels gets tangled and fried in the light wiring. PETA will be watching.

This would make a perfect SNL skit. Rejoice progressive historians, rejoice. This fits you perfectly. But maybe not. This circus even has the usual anti-Confederate crowd embarrassed:

(Pssst - I think the LED lights are bit much for even them. They probably would have preferred solar.)

But it's a beautiful thing. Or, as Ray Stevens would say:

Sing it children! I'm going to have to start drinkin' again.

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